I've been on the road since October 9th following the Bob Dylan Tour. I've been inside 32 shows, missing only entirely the second show in Stockholm, seeing half of the second show in Berlin, half of every 3 shows in Milano, half of the second show in Paris.
Thanks to some good friends who helped me to find a way in ; paying for me or snicking me in.
I divide the Tour in 4 legs ;
- The Tour until Geneva(including the strange jump to Amsterdam)
- The Italian leg
- The North European leg
- The UK leg.
Until Geneva my plan was well prepared.
I had bought a Rail Pass. found some Couch Surfing Hosts, I had energy and money.
I had a wonderful time visiting the cities, sharing with CS Hosts and going to the shows.
In Oslo, Stockholm and Copenhagen one song from the Set List was changed.
6 songs from Tempest.
Bob in great form ; slim with a clear voice.
The only disturbing act had been in Düsseldorf. After the show we had had a terrible storm. My CS Host turned out to be absent on the telephone.
Che, Tim , Franky and I ended up at the train station. Bad night but good spirit. That kind of experience that binds people together.
Now just a memory.
The trip to Amsterdam was unplanned with no CS Host.
On the line queuing I met with Hubert and we arrange a place for me to stay. Nice experience. The first and only time I managed to get 8 free tickets!
The Italian leg had been entirely in the hands of Stefano for room, food and traveling.
Stefano invited me to stay at his grand-Parents house in Bergamo, a small village between Milano and Padova.
The 3 Milano shows were shrunken to half for me, not being able to get in for the first part.
The Fans Party after the second show was the largest I've been part of ; 47 Fans at he pizzeria next to the venue.
Roma, of course, will stay in all the memories for the specificity of the set lists.
The first show being the most exited I've been participating to ; the show and the audience.
Padova confirmed there will be no 'Early Roman Kings' in Italy.
Brussels, Paris, Esch/Alzette.
Special for me for the French language is in use.
The most exited being when I was at the Ministry of Culture to see Bob going in and coming out after he had received his 'Legion d' Honneur'.
The most distinguished price in France.
My feelings then started to be in a shamble in Esch/Alzette.
Not knowing if yes or no I would do the UK leg.
The story is ...
D. was supposed to come for that part of the Tour.
My relationship with D. had been going like on a roller Coaster as much as my emotions.
We did 3 Tours together in the past in the USA.
Tightening bounds that can't be easily un-tightened.
My mistake had been to fall in Love with him during the second Tour together.
'The heart has some reasons that the reason doesn't have'.
My emotions would often get over my head.
D. having been honest and true, telling me he was NOT in Love with me, just friend.
But Hope makes a human being moves on.
I was split between the hope of traveling and sharing with D. Or
avoiding a conflict I knew (deep in my mind) would occur.
Tim persuaded me to do the UK leg since I was on the road for BOB DYLAN and nothing and nobody was supposed to intervene.
Plus everybody expected a change somehow.
OK, destiny leads me towards making the Tour ;
Hubert gave me a ride to the airport to catch my flight to Edinburg (then bus to Glasgow).
I followed my fate.
The UK leg.
It started with my encounter with D. on the street; a simple twist of Fate!
I'm so happy to see him that I fall in his arms and cry.
I also feel immediately that he doesn't share those emotions ; he's distant and cold ; no smile, no humor.
I put it on the account of his disappointment about the business deal in Oregon.
We have been relating through emails for most of the 4 months the deal was taking form ;
The buying of a piece of land in Oregon and his long time dream of starting his own business as a wine maker.
I encouraged him as much as possible, knowing that if the deal was made I would never see D. again on the road for Bob Dylan.
But my love is sincere and I wished him the best.I worried about him so much at times that I called him for support.
The relationship with his partner turned out to be a nightmare, the deal had to be canceled.
I imagine D. had been emotionally devastated.
He's not willing to share the traveling like we used to.
I expected too much.
Over the time our relationship will deteriorate. He wants to be independent and free.
I want to be with him.
He will play a dirty trick on me ; staying at the Imperial Hotel in Blackpool (where
Bob is staying), sharing his Imperial bedroom with two friends of Claude
Boni (my good friend). So much for his independence!
I'm staying alone in a cheap "Bed and Breakfast". Crying out my eyes, night after night!
Being 'in Love' my feelings are disturbing my judgment ;
-"I'm a wreck!"
As is well known, falling in love often leads to emotional and
physiological instability. You bounce between exhilaration, euphoria,
increased energy, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, trembling, a racing
heart and accelerated breathing, as well as anxiety, panic and feelings
of despair when your relationship suffers even the smallest setback.
These mood swings parallel the behavior of drug addicts. And indeed,
when in-love people are shown pictures of their loved ones, it fires up
the same regions of the brain that activate when a drug addict takes a
hit. Being in love, researchers say, is a form of addiction.
I'm, by now, exhausted and emotionally disturbed. I will be during the whole UK Tour.
That will poison my feelings at the shows.
I'm now seeing Bob Dylan as a distraction instead of the ultimate goal of being on the road.
I HAVE to break that relationship with D.that a good friend of mine describes as :
"Aïe aïe aïe, so this is
a sado-masochist relationship between Laurette and you!".
I have to un-tightened the twisted threads.
And I find only one way. The most dramatic and cruel for a Dylan Fan. The only one that will make D.so mad at me that HE will stop the relationship.
In Blackpool, at the first show, I call the security on him. Expecting deliberately that his recording material will be confiscated and him thrown out the venue.
But as good manipulator as he is, he will manage to remain in during the last part on the show, on the balcony.
The Blackpool days will remain in my memory as a three days of nightmare : the cold, the rejection, the frustration, the hunger, the anger...
The third show I will be the only one out begging for a ticket.
I want to die!
Somehow I manage to recover. I have to go on and
Then the time will tell
Who has fell
And who's been left behind
When you go your way and I go mine